It's the little things

So I know I haven't written in forever. To be honest, I've had so much going on that just picking one thing is impossible.  But here's a basic update.  I've attended a couple more mission farewells since I last wrote.  I love these friends and am so proud and grateful to them for their beautiful examples.  They are going to be fantastic missionaries.  I got to spend an entire week with my baby brother while my parents and other brother went on trek together.  It was so fun to go to the Zoo, a museum, help him with this homework and just spend some quality time together.  I'm still doing Krav Maga except this week I haven't been yet because of some injuries and sheer exhaustion.  Causes for those injuries and exhaustion reflect major stupidity so they won't be shared here haha.  I've been studying, reading and learning more in preparation for my mission.  It feels good to continue learning and expounding my knowledge of what I specifically need to learn.  Last week was the week of constant fun.  I saw two shows at a local out door amphitheater and they were both fantastic.  I went to a very popular rodeo with one of my best friends.  I saw an old friend I haven't seen in forever and rekindled contact with them.  I went to a popular theme park with my brothers and had an absolute blast watching them go on all the rides.  I went Latin dancing and got told I was a good dancer at about six times... It's a lot of fun to be one of the only white girls in the club and still get asked to dance.  

The biggest news of all is that my mission papers are at church head quarters.  They are in Salt Lake City, Utah.  What will happen now is that the church officials who issue the calls will look at my application.  They will see all of my information.  Then, through inspiration from the Holy Ghost, they will assign me to a mission.  I've listed on my application that I want to go to Rome, Italy and that I've taken three years of German.  But I will go wherever I am sent.  If I end up going to the middle of nowhere then that is where I will be needed.  So now it's just time to wait.  If they get my call issued quickly, I could have my call by July 3rd.  But because next week is the 4th of July, I will probably get it in the next 3 weeks or so.  I am nervous that I won't get it for about 6-8 weeks as that has happened to some missionaries.  To keep my sanity during the suspense, I'm doing my best to trust that the Lord will help me be patient for another month or so.  But once I get my call then life really settles in.  If I go out in a month then I will just keep doing what I'm doing now and make minor adjustments to help me prepare even more.  If I go out in 5 months I will get a job because I have lost quite a bit of money during these last 3 months. 

One of the best things about getting my papers up to Salt Lake City, was talking with my Stake President.  For those who don't know, each member of the church is in either a branch (a small group of Mormons usually between 5-30 people) or a ward (a larger group of Mormons usually between 100-1000) people.  Well a Stake is a group of wards.  So the branch president is in charge of the branch, the bishop is in charge of the ward and the Stake President is in charge of the Stake.  Well before a missionary can send their mission papers to Salt Lake, they need to meet with the Stake President. 
My Stake just recently sustained a new Stake President.  He and I met and he asked me several questions pertaining to my worthiness to go on a mission.  I won't go into detail about those questions but this I will say.  I have never felt happier in my life then being able to say yes and no to the right questions with a full and honest heart.  To know that my life is in order and that I living worthy enough to be a servant of the Lord.... it is the most priceless happy feeling.  I don't say this to brag.  Rather I say it to share my joy that has come from preparing for a mission.

As time goes on, I'm learning more and more about what it means to truly turn your life over to Heavenly Father.  There are some little habits, like spending too much time on the computer, that I know I need to break before I go out in the mission field.  These habits aren't keeping me from going on a mission, but there could be better things I can do with my time.  And it's hard.  It's hard to change.  But I have seen blessings come into my life and I am working on making these changes.  This is why preparing for a mission has brought joy to my life.  As soon as I decided to go on a mission, I began making little changes to become better.  I think the average human reaction to change is to run or hide from it... or take matters into our own hands to stop it.  But when we change for the better, though it can be a long, strenuous and painful process, the blessings that come from it make the journey completely worth it. 

Fighter mentality

"So what do you like to do for fun?"
"I do Krav Maga"
"What's that?"
"Israeli Combat fighting.  I also do one day of Jiu Jitsu every week."  *initiate look of terror, confusion, attraction or weirded out.* 

This is what happens to me every time I tell someone I do Krav Maga.  I know I've mentioned it before but for those who don't know, Krav is Israeli Hand Combat.  Brought over from Israel, it is a fast and furious martial art... and a killer workout.  Jiu Jitsu is ground fighting that involves a lot of chokes and holds to either break or tear ligaments or bones, or cut off blood flow to the brain and make someone pass out. 

I decided to do it because I'm not working so I have way too much time on my hands.  I want to get in shape quickly.  I am going to go on a mission, so I need to learn how to defend myself.  In case I were to get in a situation where I needed to defend myself and/or my companion, especially if my companion was somehow limited in defending herself, then I could do it and probably not get injured in the process.  Even if I was knocked down I could find ways to get up. 

 I love Krav because the coaches are fantastic.  They teach you the moves, tell you what you did wrong, but they never make you feel like crap.  I feel like I can do anything while I'm with these instructors.  Sometimes I want to give them a face full of knuckles after making us do another round of push ups because someone didn't do the drill all the way.  Sometimes I want to break down because they're screaming at me to keep going and never give up even when my knee is about to give out.  But I have great respect for my teachers. 

As a girl, it boosts my confidence dramatically.  I feel fit, strong, capable, and that much more prepared for any situation.  I'm losing weight and getting stronger arms, legs and abs.  Even though I'm only a level one, and I probably won't test for level two for another month, I have a solid foundation of defenses to draw from.  I go dancing with my friends in a city.  I feel much more safe walking back to the car with my friends at 2 am. 
 
 So why am I engaging in such brutal and physically demanding sports that could permanently disable someone if executed hard enough?  It's not just for the mission.  It's because I am learning to push through something hard, without the option of giving up or quitting.  Now I have had my trials in my life.  Some of them I did give up on and they eventually floated away with time.  Others I gave up on temporarily until I felt I was strong enough to face them.  Sometimes I was able to wait until I was ready to face them and other times they would just knock me down harder than I ever imagined.  And there are some that I have fought until the very end.  I know that In the mission field, (unless it is absolutely necessary), there is no such thing as quitting.  There's no such thing as giving up because it's hard.  I know I will have many experiences where I just want to break down and cry because I'm emotionally drained and physically exhausted.  But I will have to keep going.  In a fight, it's the same concept.  The foe is not going to back off to let you take a break.  They'll throw the hits, kicks, and weapons until you beat them, or they tire out. 

I'm at a point in my life where I will be bearing responsibilities and trials that, if gave up on them, would produce deadly consequences.  You may be thinking, "wow this chick is a wimp if she's using a fighting class to learn how to be tough."  I'm not going to debate what determines a strong person.  Even though my trials may seem smaller to others, they were big to me.  They were what I needed.  Right now, this class is what I need.   I pay for it myself so I know that if I don't go, that's another massive amount of money down the tubes for no reason (and that's a big deal because this class costs more than a hundred a month.)  While I'm there, there are so many moments where I want to just break down and cry.  Either because it hurts, I'm sore, I'm tired or the next choke defense drill is absolutely terrifying.  But I signed up for it.  So I force it back and keep going.  All of it is physical training but it's also mental training.  It's training to keep going, don't stop, put in the extra mile because that is what makes the difference.  One of the greatest lessons I've learned is that the mind gives up before the body. This class isn't just giving me toned arms.  It is helping me develop the mental will power to keep fighting and keep going... even when it's tough. 

MISSION PAPERS

It has happened.  FINALLY.  My MISSION PAPERS ARE IN.  I have completed the online application process and all the necessary paperwork.  I cannot be more thrilled.  I feel at peace, content and ready to take on the challenges that will come in these next few months before I actually enter the MTC.  Before tonight, I was feeling anxious, jittery, disappointed, impatient, frustrated and this overall feeling that I was screwing up.  The feeling that I am doing what the Lord would have me do right now is incomprehensibly wonderful.  I cannot wait to serve a mission.  I cannot wait to take the joy of the Gospel to those who have not heard it.  I started this journey on October 6, 2012.  I have taken several steps.  Tonight I took a leap. 

Those Good Ol' Times... are NOW!

*names are changed

Today I had the great privilege to attend my college friend Zach's mission farewell.  The farewell was at a ghastly 9 am.  But it was wonderful.  I drove up to my friend *Steven's house and me, him and his cute girlfriend *Marie all carpooled to the farewell.  I hadn't seen these friends since school got out. 

Now let me give some hilarious history between me and all these people.  Steven originally liked my roommate *Brittany.  When Brittany didn't feel the same way he quit pursuing her and started dating Marie a short time later.  I met Steven and Zach through Brittany.  I became Zach's relationship therapist and participator in endless theater conversations.  Marie was in a theater class with me but we didn't really become friends till she started dating Steven.  But what makes it all funny is that I kissed Steven.  Many schools have a True (mascot) night.  You gather at a specific place on campus and kiss another student and then you become a true (whatever the mascot is).  Of course that was before Steven started dating Marie but it was while he was pursuing Brittany.  So there you have it, a mixed web of friendship, romance and awesomeness.

It was so wonderful to spend time with these friends and watch a fantastic farewell talk that was so... Zach.  All the "ums", laughs, and ranting (because that's mostly what the talk was) was concluded with a beautiful testimony.  To watch him just be himself up on the stand and bear a simple, pure and profound testimony was beautiful. 

After the farewell talk we went to Zach's house for a farewell party.  For those outside the church, it is customary to attend friends mission farewells.  Afterwards the friends family provides food for all the guests that traveled for the farewell specifically.  The ward and neighbors usually don't come to the after party.  Usually it is just family and close friends.  But the food was absolutely delicious.  Home made Barbacoa (a delicious Mexican restaurant) Pork Burritos, desserts galore, chips and dip, crackers and cheese and lemonade filled our hungry tummies.  I met Zach's friends, family and caught up with other friends from college.

While at Zach's house, sitting under a big shady tree, reminiscing about college stories and laughing with my wonderful friends, I felt I could sit under that tree forever.  Surrounded by people I love, good food, without a care in the world, it was absolute bliss.  I logged this memory as one of the best.  My friends lives and mine are rapidly changing right now as most of us are preparing for missions.  The thought of not seeing these beautiful people for years tugged at my heart strings.  But then I realized, these good ol' times were now.  The good ol' times we had in college are in the past.  But the ones we have when we all go back to school are waiting in our futures.  It gave me comfort knowing that even though our lives were rapidly changing, the ties of friendship and love between all of us hadn't changed.  We returned to the crazy, immature hyper dynamic that existed between all of us during college.  I have a feeling that's how it will always be. 

 After the party, Steven, Marie and I all went to the local LDS Temple in Zach's hometown.  We had never been to that Temple specifically, so we walked around taking pictures and thinking about how we were all going to enter the Temple in the future.  The Spirit was so incredibly strong and I couldn't think of a better place to be than walking around the Temple with two amazing friends.  

 I walked away from this experience with a bigger perspective of spending time with those we love.  Even though we want it to last forever, it won't in this life.  People go on missions, go to school, get married, have kids, start careers and move around while exploring this beautiful earth.  But I'm grateful that in the next life I will be with my friends again.  There is a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants that, when summed up, states that the acquaintances we have on earth will exist in Heaven.  I truly valued the time I got to spend with my friends today.  And the thought of being able to be with the family and friends I love for eternity.... priceless.   

The Gift of Dancing

                                                               Country Swing Dancing

I am completely in love with partner dancing.  Last night, I had the great privilege to go Country Swing Dancing with a good friend of mine at a fantastic club.  Even though my body was completely exhausted from a massive Krav Maga session, I was still able to get some really good dances.  Along with Country swing, I do West Coast swing dancing, blues dancing and I know the basic steps to most of the ballroom dances including Salsa, Cha Cha, Waltz, Tango and a few others.  I firmly believe that every man and woman should know how to dance.  Here are my reasons.



                  West Coast Swing Dancing
           

For the men.
1)  This is one activity where you can get your arms around a girl two minutes after you get there and you don't have to be drunk or high.
2)  Girls will flock to you by the dozens if you know how to dance.
3)  The door fee is cheap.
4)  You will not be the only man in the club.
5)  You have the power to ask girls to dance.  You also have the power to decide which girls you do and do not want to dance with.
      

For the women.
1)  This is one of several activities where you can be in a guys arms two minutes after you get there and you don't have to be drunk or high.
2)  It makes a great night out with the girls.
3)  The door fee is cheap.
4)  It torches calories.
5)  You have the power to ask a guy to dance.  You have the power to walk away from a dance and refuse one all together.

                                                                                     Blues Dancing

                  

So why do I go dancing?  Well first off because it's hours upon hours of exercising.  It releases tons of endorphins.  It makes me feel happy, fit, sexy, and talented.
Dancing takes time to perfect.  To some this may be a discouragement.  But for me, it is a motivator.  Knowing that there is always something to work on helps me do my best every night.
There is always more girls than guys.  But most of the guys there are talented dancers and extremely attractive.  I'll meet about 10-20 new  guys a night.  Sometimes guys will ask me to teach them more moves.  That means more time for me to spend with a new hot guy.   
Dancing is a sport that requires immediate chemical connection.  What I mean by this is that in order to have a successful dance, both partners need to be connected through touch as well as mentally.  In country, the guy is always holding the girls hand in some form.  Eye contact and body movement help keep a mental connection.  Establishing a great connection makes for a great dance.

Salsa Dancing


Some of my favorite memories are having my friends next to me as we're performing line dances and watching each other add our own individual flares to it.

Earlier I talked about how women can ask a guy to dance as well as refuse an offer to dance.  Many times I have asked a guy to dance and ended up having a great dance.  And I have said no before.  Exercising these powers boosts my confidence.  Sure it may be an ego killer for the guy, but when I know that I'm going to walk away from that dance feeling extremely uncomfortable, I'm not going to dance with him. 
Most importantly I go dancing because I love it.  I love the thrill, the adrenaline rush, the ego stroke, the look on people's faces when I tell them I do dancing... all of it.  I love walking away after dancing with a really hot guy and feeling like I'm on cloud nine.  I love getting dolled up.  I love laughing with my friends at Denny's after dancing; sipping mango smoothies and listening to the 3 am stream of consciousness echoing around the table.  And I love the feeling of instantly falling asleep when my head hits the pillow.

                                                                              The Waltz

I encourage everyone to learn dancing.  We have our bodies.  Learn to use to express emotion and become more fit, flexible, and full of awesome moves.  Don't be afraid of it.  If you need lessons, ask a friend or take some.  If it's hard at first, keep practicing.  Watch good dancers and study their movements.  Put yourself out there.  Trust me!  It's a beautiful new world always available. 

Learning about Myself and Change

So I'm starting to learn more about myself through tons of journal writing and preparing for my mission.  First off is that because I'm preparing to leave for a year and a half, I'm starting to pull away from my friends and family instead of spend more time with them.  I didn't realize this at first but as time has passed it's becoming more apparent.  Logically, if a person is going to leave then they should be spending extra time with the ones they love.  Well my logic is that if I don't spend as much time with my friends and family then it won't be as hard to leave them.  But I'm also realizing that a lot of my friends are thinking that I'm ignoring them and I'm missing out on beautiful opportunities to make amazing memories with my family.  So I'm trying to change.  I planned a couple outings with friends this week.  Also I'm going to try to spend more time with my family. 

Another thing I've learned is that I have some insecurities about myself that I didn't think were that prominent.  I was updating a journal entry about a relationship I was in last summer.  I found myself writing about how this guy was so hot that, despite him treating me like a queen, I felt incredibly inadequate about my body shape and image compared to him.  I realized this feeling of inadequacy was contributing to other worries and doubts about myself as well.  I know that if I want to fix these insecurities I need to run everyday, really watch what I eat and believe that I can do it.  But it's very challenging for me to do all of those things.  I had a knee injury about a month ago so running hurts.  I like to eat... I'm Italian.  We eat, we eat a lot, and we know how to cook good food to keep eating.  Believing that I can do it is difficult because I can't really see myself as I would like to be.  I think I can in my head, but actually putting that into action has been almost impossible for me.  But my plan is to keep trying.  I am not one to give up unless there is absolutely no way something can happen.  Even then I try and look for solutions.

I'm learning more about a mission in general.  I'm starting to make the mental mind switch from life being all about me and my future, to being about other people's future.  It's not like I try and be a selfish brat.  But when I'm at college and working, I'm learning and investing in my future.  Focusing on making sure that I'm going down the right path is essential for success.  But a mission is the complete opposite.  A mission is literally focusing on others 24/7.  This is why it is such a blessing.  When you take a young and inexperienced man or woman, and put them in an environment that requires them to think about others 24/7, they change... for the better. 

Spiritually, I'm starting to tune in more to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  For example, yesterday my brother played in the championship with his baseball team.  My plan was to skip the game, go to Krav Maga, and then go west coast swing dancing after.  I pay good money for Krav Maga so I want to get in as many sessions as I can.  Dancing makes me incredibly happy and the more I do it, the better I become at it.  But as I thought more and more about that plan, I felt uncomfortable with it.  While they are all good activities, I felt like I needed to be there to watch my brothers game.  I am so glad I stayed for that game.  It was a great fast paced game and even better, my brothers team won the game.  The look of pure victory on my brothers face was priceless.  There will always be Krav and dancing but a baseball game is a 2 hour once in a life time experience.

So change comes with time.  It's hard, painful but if executed for the right reasons, is completely worth it.  Change is a choice.  We choose to exercise our powers and abilities to erect change in our habits, thoughts, words, ideas, thinking patterns and ultimately our actions.  I've heard some people say that change is impossible because they lack this or that.  Because we all have individual and different circumstances I'm not one to judge.  But what I do know is that when we use what we have to change for the better, it is truly worth the effort.  

Prayer of relief

Yesterday I had a wonderful experience that taught me more about the power or prayer.  Lately I've been feeling really down.  I am waiting for my passport to come so I can turn in my mission papers.  While it will be helpful to have my passport before my mission, the waiting period becomes increasingly difficult day by day.  I'm not working because I quit my jobs so I have tons of time on my hands.  I'm not pursuing any more employment until I get my call.  Once I know how long I will be around before I go on my mission then I can get a job.  But because I don't know how long it will take, there's no reason to try and get a job only to quit a month later.  I'm filling my time writing in my journal, exercising, doing Krav Maga, dancing, going to institute, church and trying to spend time with my family.  But I am so used to a strict cookie cutter schedule of tasks that having extra time on my hands starts to make me feel useless and unproductive.  Because I'm going on a mission I'm not dating or socializing as much which bums me out sometimes because I am a major flirt and love socializing and meeting new people... especially tons of new guys.  Also the thought of meeting more people only to leave them for a year and a half makes socializing with new people and with my friends seem almost pointless.  Now don't get me wrong, I still hang out with my friends and family but it is hard to think that I'm going to leave them.  But the worst part is the feeling that Satan is really working on me to get me to not go.  Doubts, temptations, and fears I've never really dealt with creep in and it is hard work to keep the goal in sight.  Another big problem I was noticing though was that I was doing good things but not really doing what the Lord would have me be doing.  There was a talk given in General Conference that focused on the theme of good, better and best.  There are good things we can do, better things, and then the best things.  Right now I feel like I'm doing the good and the better but not the best.  By not doing the best, I'm missing out on preparation and blessings.  I need some lifestyle changes including eating healthier, drinking more water, and getting to bed before midnight. 

So with all the waiting and worrying and doubts... needless to say it was starting to build up and get overwhelming.  Well I talked to my dad about it telling him everything.  He told me to get on my knees and give these burdens, fears, doubts, and worries over to the Lord.  I like to have complete control over my life so when I don't have control over everything I start getting fussy and picky.  It is hard for me to hand my entire life over to the Lord sometimes.  There have been other times like this where I have had to get on my knees and just give it all to the Lord in order to keep progressing.  Well last night i did my regular scripture and Preach my Gospel Study.  I then began to pray.  One thing that helped tremendously was that for the first half of my prayer, I just thanked the Lord for as many blessings as I could think of.  When we turn our hearts over to gratitude, our burdens truly do seem to lift.  After that I poured out all the worries, doubts, fears, troubles, problems, stumbling blocks, trials and anxieties of my heart.  I gave it all to God. 

I know the Lord can never lead us in the wrong path.  He may bring us to trials but if he brings us to it he will bring us through it, if we rely on him.  His infinite love is manifest in Christ's atonement.  Well after my prayer I began writing the promptings and thoughts that came to my mind.  I started reading some New Era (the magazine the church prints out for the teenagers) and some more scriptures.  It truly was a spiritual feast.  I found the answers I needed.  I felt comfort.  I realized that part of the problem had been that I wasn't really pouring out my heart during my prayers.  Also, I regularly attend the temple as much as I can.  The temple near my house had been closed and I hadn't taken the time to go to another temple.  But I was so incredibly grateful for the answers and comfort I felt. 

I still have changes and corrections to make in my life.  But they will be made.  I testify that the Lord does hear our prayers and he does answer them.  In order to receive answers we need to earnestly ask for them, having faith that we will receive an answer, and then do our best to be obedient to all of the commandments. 

Blog Changes and Friendship Lessons

*names are changed

So lately I've been feeling that my blog is getting pretty dry.  My blog is morphing into that too happy, repetitive, nauseating Mormon blog that gets ignored instead of pursued.  So I'm going to try and make it more real.  Many of my experiences will still be about how the gospel blesses my life, but some posts will be mere rantings, others will be about awesome and sad experiences that have nothing to do with the church and some posts will be simple and little clips of my emotions. So here is one of those awesome experiences that doesn't really have anything to do with the Gospel but does involve serving others and trying to be Christ like.

But first some back ground info.  I have this gift where I can get people to tell me anything.  I don't know how to explain it other than that.  What I do is ask people questions.  I ask out of sheer curiosity because I am honestly interested.  I take this information and ponder it and learn from it.  If I talk about the information at all, I keep the persons name and information anonymous and only converse with my friends who are my confidants.

But sometimes I don't even have to ask questions.  I have had people just tell me very personal private things after just a few honest questions; even if I don't know them that well.  I've asked many different people, "Why do you tell me these things.?"  In one way or another they all say that they feel they can trust me and they feel that I won't judge them based on what they are sharing.  The reason I think this is a gift is because I don't really have to work at it.  The questions naturally come, the curiosity is just there, and I never feel like I have to force people to talk to me.  It seems like one question will just set them off.  But this gift has been of benefit to me.  I've been able to help a lot of people with it. 

So with this back ground info, here's the story.  *Brittany is one of my best friends.  She repeatedly told me how it was hard for her to open up to people but for some reason she could open up to me.  So now whenever she has a problem she talks to me about it.  Well she was dating *Jason.  I didn't know Jason that well and didn't understand him because he is very quiet.  Well for various reasons Jason waited wayyyy too long to tell Brittany that he liked her.  As consequence, she didn't like him anymore.  So she felt bad and called me asking what to do.  I told her to be completely honest with her emotions, her self (yes those are two separate things in the world of women), and with him.  Even if that meant telling him the truth and ending the relationship.

Minutes later, Jason chatted with me online.  Once again, the whole person-who-I-don't-know-very-well situations occurs and he completely opens up to me.  He told me how he could tell there was a problem and wanted to know how to fix it.  This was a learning moment for me.  I realized that I knew information from both parties that both parties didn't know about each other.  That is an extremely powerful position to be in.  I knew I couldn't betray either of their trusts and I didn't want to completely fix the problem for them because that wouldn't be healthy for their relationship.  So being as careful with my words as I could I told Brittany and Jason the same thing:  Be honest, communicate and just get rid of the problem instead of stewing about it.   

After all was said and done, Jason wrote me a thank you message via online chatting.  What made this experience special was receiving the thank you note.  I also learned a ton.  The quote "with great power comes great responsibility" really came into focus.  I knew that if I screwed up at all, there would be big ugly drama and I would be right in the middle of it.  I learned more about Brittany and Jason.  I had misjudged Jason in so many ways and was grateful to have the record set straight.  My friendship with Brittany strengthened and I learned more about her as well.  This experience also reinforced how valuable and necessary friendship is in this world.  If your friends are struggling, be there for them, be honest with them, help them know of the Lord's love for them, never sacrifice your standards, and always be a confidant.  It's hard but the rewards are sweet.  

Memories of a lifetime

So today is Memorial Day.  For those outside the U.S., or who just don't know what Memorial Day is, it is a day to remember family and friends who have passed away.  It is also a day to remember and express gratitude for the brave men and women who have given their lives to defend and protect the freedoms that we enjoy in America. 

In the church, we believe that families can be together forever.  A husband and wife can be married and sealed in the temple.  What this means is that if a husband and wife are sealed in the temple, and keep the promises and covenants they make in the temple, they will still be married and will be with their family and children forever.  This blessing is part of the Plan of Salvation that a loving Heavenly Father has for us, his children.  My parents were married and sealed.  So my siblings and I are sealed to them and we will be a family forever in the next life.  When I was a child, I set the goal to be married and sealed in the temple to my husband so that I can be with my husband and children forever. 

So today, while surfing a social networking site, I saw many pictures and graphics celebrating memorial day.  But one picture in particular caught my attention.  A friend of mine is a wonderful lady who, through her business, makes a positive difference in the lives of thousands.  She lost her daughter to a rare disease when the daughter was still a baby.  She had posted a picture of her and her family gathered around her daughter's grave.  But instead of looking unhappy and mournful, they all had smiles on their faces.  Most importantly there was a sense of peace that seemed to emanate in their faces.  They are members of the church.  As I saw this picture, I imagined how much peace, happiness and comfort this lady and her family must feel with the knowledge that they will see their beloved girl again.  Their whole family looked happy and filled with joy and love.  True, they had lost their baby girl, but it was evident that the hope and knowledge they have was helping them face the grief with joy and strength. 

I have applied this same knowledge that this family possesses, to my own life.  Recently my Great Grandmother passed away.  I had grown up visiting her often.  While it was hard to see her leave this mortal experience, my family and I rejoiced.  We knew we would see her again.  We knew she was going to a better place away from the sickness and discomfort her aging body was experiencing.  The happiest thought was that she was being reunited with my Great Grandfather and their still-born son.

The doctrines that families can be together forever, we will see our loved ones again, and we can live our lives with this knowledge... this is one way the Gospel blesses my life.  As a missionary, I can't wait to teach these doctrines to those who have lost loved ones.  The sting of death can truly be swallowed up in the joy of the Gospel.    

Family mission

Wow it feels like forever since I have written.  Honestly this week has been awesome.  Lots of dancing, more Krav Maga, Zumba, Institute, hanging out with friends, tons of yard work, and being with the family.  Last night I had the marvelous opportunity to attend a symphony performance of Dvorak and Brahms.  I got to meet the conductor and the violin soloist.  I attended the event with my grandparents and it was wonderful to spend time with them.  I'm making more friends at country dancing which feels so wonderful and makes me more enthusiastic to go.  Some good news is that the antibiotics I was taking worked and my medical mission papers are going in.  Now all I have to do is wait for my passport and finish the online papers and then my papers will go in.

So I haven't written for a while because I just didn't know what to write about.  Every day I've thought about what happened that day and wondered if there was an experience that would be appropriate for this blog.  But I feel like this experience is perfect right now.

This week I had the marvelous opportunity to go to my grandparents house and help them fill out their mission papers.  After a marvelous light and healthy dinner, I sat with my grandma and grandpa at the computer and slowly filled out every page.  They struggle with computer tasks so they have asked me to help them.

What I didn't anticipate was how much this would be a blessing in my life and theirs.  As I've asked them questions, I've gotten to know them better and have developed a greater sense of gratitude for the marvelous lives they have lived and continue to live.  I've learned more about their pasts and what events have made them who they are today.

Helping them with their mission papers is also helping me stay enthusiastic and stay on track towards going on a mission.  I've learned more about how to fill out my own papers and what standards I need to maintain in my life.  What's so cool is that I will probably be out in the mission field at the same time as my grandparents.  Now it's very unlikely that I won't be in the same mission as them.  The church usually keeps family members and missionaries in relationships out of the same mission for a number of reasons.  Sometimes family members are called to the same mission but that is more rare.  But for me, knowing that I'll be in the mission field along with my grandparents fills my heart with happiness.

The Gospel blesses my daily life because it is bringing my family and I closer together and we are pushing towards the same goal.  I'm grateful for this blessing and opportunity in my life. 

Fellow Soldiers

(*Names are changed).  *Mike and I met in math class in high school.  I was going through a period of depression and pain because my boyfriend (at the time) had moved just a few months before.  I was lonely, heartbroken and desperate for guy friends who would build me up during the times when my confidence was low.  Mike initially had a crush on me and I craved attention and an ego stroke.  While we were attracted to each other,  we eventually talked it out and agreed that we would rather be friends than get into a relationship.  But we still kiss each other on the cheek every time we see each other and go get ice cream whenever we hang out.  He brought me roses and chocolate for my birthday and I gave him a dating survival kit in the form of candy and a ruby red lipstick kiss on the cheek for his. 

In math, Mike and I sat at a table with a couple other friends and we soon became one marvelous group.  I'm still close to these friends today and treasure the wonderful memories we have of laughing and talking during math.  At one point we decided to give each other food nick names.  I became "Sprinkle Muffin" and Mike became "Devil Food Cake."  We still address each other with these names today.  As Mike and I grew up, finished high school and went to college we still talked.  He helped me through drama, school, and the trials of every day life.  I would buoy up his confidence and help him navigate the new college life.  We both attended schools that were a few hours from our home town so we would call each other to pass the time when we were driving home from college.

So now Mike is leaving on a mission.  I had the opportunity to attend his farewell.  I had the wonderful privilege to listen to his profound testimony.  He bore one of the most powerful witnesses of the Prophet, Christ and the Gospel.  He discussed how the Prophets and Apostles are called of God and given the priesthood keys to act as instruments in the hands of God.  He talked about how personal revelation is available to all of us. 

We communicate with God through prayer.  God communicates to us through personal revelation.  Personal revelation can come in the form of dreams, visions, impressions, thoughts, feelings, events and people.  This picture of Christ shows him knocking on a door without a handle.  There is a light in the window signifying that someone is home.  This picture represents Christ in our lives.  We have the handle.  All we have to do is open the door and let him in our lives.  It is difficult and requires sacrifice, but it is possible.  I am learning that now in my life as I prepare to serve my own mission. 

Mike shared experiences that have helped him come closer to Christ.  He testified that he knew that he is going to his specific mission for a reason.  He doesn't know what that reason is yet, but he knew that the people there were being prepared to hear the Gospel of Christ. 

As I sat there listening to this testimony, I felt a peace sweep through my body.  I felt a renewed confirmation for my testimony.  The Gospel blesses my daily life, because it provides the same opportunity for me and all of my friends.  I have many friends who have already left or are leaving soon for their missions.  While I will miss them, I am so grateful for their examples in my life.  It is encouraging to know that many of my friends are working towards the same goals as I am.  I am grateful that through the Gospel of Christ, we can become perfect and work to share the joy of the Gospel with others. 

Trusting in God's Plan

Wow these last few days have been absolutely crazy and fun!  Random outings and chats with wonderful, supportive and amazing friends have helped me gain a much better understanding of how to navigate this time of my life.  I got to watch my amazing little bro play baseball and I'm so proud of him every day.  I finally got started in organizing my chaotic mess of a room and figuring out what gets boxed up for college, what gets packed for the mission, and what gets thrown out.  I purchased my passport which I'm now waiting on for the next three weeks.  I started taking some antibiotics for one of my tests I received at the doctors office.  And, last night I went country dancing.  The venue was massive, I met tons of wonderful new people and finished off the night with mango smoothies at Denny's.  I was in bed at 4 am and it was so amazing!

I'm learning more and more now that the Gospel blesses my daily life because the Lord has a plan for us.  Earlier this week, I was extremely frustrated that I wasn't getting on my mission as fast as I'd like to.  I had tons of worries, concerns, frustrations and things weighing on my mind.  I just wanted all the road blocks to get out of the way and to enter the MTC (Missionary Training Center) as soon as possible.  But after realizing I would have to wait another three weeks for my passport and starting medication, I've learned that these delays are here for a reason.  The Lord knows better than I do, when I'll be ready to serve a mission and when I need to leave.  It is hard sometimes to trust in a plan that I do not know.  But what I do know, and am repeatedly learning, is that when we put our trust in God's plan and his timing, we will receive an infinite amount of blessings.

During this waiting period, I have enrolled in Krav Maga.  Krav Maga is Israeli Hand Combat fighting.  I'm learning this self defense in preparation for my mission and also to get in shape.  I'm exercising every day whether its Krav, Zumba, Country swing dancing, West Coast swing dancing, barefoot running, biking or the occasional Yoga.  I'm attending Mission Prep at Institute which gives me an opportunity to renew my enthusiasm for my mission and meet new friends.  I hoping I'll have a calling soon in my family ward.  I'm also trying to attend the temple at least twice a week.  Scripture reading, studying Preach My Gospel and reading other Gospel related books are strengthening my testimony.  I have time to sleep, read, organize, write in my journal, be with my family and friends and do the things I love.  I'm learning more about my strengths and weaknesses and what I will need to work on in order to be an effective missionary.    Even though I'm not employed right now, I feel confident that this is what I am supposed to be doing during this period of my life.

It's been hard to see these blessings instead of the fears and anxieties of my life right now.  But trusting that the Lord has a plan and seeing the blessings that have come from following it, has made this whole journey a lot easier. 

Almost There!

Well it's that time.  My mission papers are almost in.  After a successful wisdom teeth extraction, all that is left is the rest of the paper work, doctor appointments and then... I will have submitted my papers and will be awaiting the call!  To finally carry out this plan after almost six months of waiting is absolutely thrilling.  My availability date isn't until July 10 but that isn't stopping me from mostly completing this process.  I guess the biggest lesson I'm learning right now is patience.

The Gospel blesses my daily life because our Heavenly Father as infinite amount of patience with us.  As I'm preparing for my mission, I've started to notice the weaknesses, shortcomings and areas that I need to work on in my life.  I'm not trying to brag or  sound like a know-it-all.  There is a saying that the more we know, the more we realize how much we don't know.  And that saying is manifesting itself in my life.  I feel like I'm gaining more perspective.

We are told in the scriptures to be perfect even as our Father in Heaven is perfect.  That is a challenging life-long process.  And to be honest, there are times when I feel very inadequate at it.  But I am so grateful for a loving patient Heavenly Father.  I'm learning from our Savior's example to be patient with the process of submitting my papers.  I'm learning to be more patient with others.  Patience truly is a virtue. 

These life lessons I'm learning are coming from preparing for a mission and through the example of Jesus Christ.  They are profound lessons that will take a lifetime or more for me to fully comprehend them, but I've started down this path... and I cannot go back. 

Wisdom Teeth

Well it happened.  I finally got my wisdom teeth out.  Here's the story and then here's why it is relative to my blog. 

When I got there the doctor gave me an IV with the anesthesia.  I remember it felt like melted butter was slowly coursing through my body and I immediately started to relax.  It was one of the most wonderful feelings.  I remember thinking that I wished I could have it every night before I went to bed.  At one point I started to laugh as I got really loopy.  The nurse asked me if I wanted any music.  I remember saying, "yeah I want some soft piano music".  And then my memory cuts off.  I was told that as I really started going under I was talking, moaning and singing before I finally asleep.  According to the Doctor, the surgery went really well with no complications. 

The next thing I remember is waking up and not being able to talk right because I couldn't feel my jaw, chin or tongue... they had numbed me up good; and stuffed my mouth full of gauze.  I was incredibly thirsty and starving because I hadn't eaten or drank anything all day.  I couldn't stand up for a while.  At one point I started seeing doubles of the nurse... that was an interesting experience.  I had a conversation with my mom and the nurse.  I thought I was completely coherent.  The video proves otherwise.  Eventually I was able to stand up and walk to the car.  Nothing is more weird than knowing how to walk straight but not being able to because your body has no balance yet.

I got home, drank some water and broth, watched The Voice for two hours, drank a smoothie and then I ended up eating like a hog for the rest of the day because I was so hungry.  One of my wonderful friends came over and we spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing as she told me about her wonderful life.  I actually felt so good that night that I drove my car home from a mechanic shop.

The good news is that there is no swelling, bruising or nausea.  I refuse to take Loratab.  Now I understand that Loratab is a pain pill and it is meant to help.  But it can also brings side effects like no other.  I prefer to keep foreign hard chemicals out of my blood stream thank you very much.  Ibuprofen is a pain pill to and believe me, Ibuprofen and I have become best buddies.  I'm still a little achy but I can eat solid foods.  I can tell I have a little of the anesthesia in me because I still feel like I just came off the teacups at Disney Land... just a little though.  

So how does this relate to the Gospel blessing my daily life?  Well before this surgery I did a lot of praying.  Vocally and mentally I prayed for courage, strength, health and the ability to relax.  I also received a blessing from my Father that every thing would be OK and the surgery would go smoothly.  With prayers and a blessing I felt at peace all week.  I didn't have any fear about it except right before they put the IV in me.  I felt assured that the Doctor would be able to perform his duties and my body would respond to the surgery in a healthy way. 

Another thing I want to add is I am a huge believer of the power of the mind and self fulfilling prophecy.  What we think about or how we perceive a situation is how it will manifest itself.  I spent a lot of time mentally preparing myself for the surgery by telling myself that I was going to go under quickly, come out quickly, and that it wasn't going to be a traumatic ordeal.  For clarification, no I'm not one of those energy gurus... I just believe in the power of positive thinking.  To tie all of this back together, prayer and faith in our Heavenly Father's protection definitely helps with positive thinking. 

I am so grateful that everything went so smoothly.  The Lord truly does protect us when we need him and he does answer our prayers.

I am very happy because this is one step closer for me to go on a mission.  I just need to finish my doctors appointments and my papers and then my call will come.  I can't wait!!!

(loopy videos coming soon.)

The Blessings of the Temple

Today I had the great privilege of attending the temple.  Once again I was able to partake of the sacred ordinances of baptisms and confirmations for the dead.  Being in the house of the Lord was such a marvelous experience.  I needed to go because I've been getting anxious about going on a mission.  The reality is starting to set in.  I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow and then my papers go in.  It only takes about a week to two weeks for the calls to come.  Then once it's here I'll be able to either get a job or just keep preparing and working and then leave. 

So with this upcoming change comes anxiety and fears.  Also, I've started to have a lot of doubts about myself and my ability to serve as a missionary.  I've learned that once a person decides to be a missionary, that is when the adversary (or Satan, Lucifer, the Devil) tries his hardest to get that person to change their minds.  The temptation to just stay home, work and date every guy I see, has been very strong.  I've started to struggle with my self confidence and my self image.  I've started to feel inadequate, like I don't know enough, that I won't be able to show others how wonderful the Gospel of Christ is. 

So with all of these doubts, fears, anxieties and struggles I knew that I needed to go to the temple and give my spirit and mind a rest and spiritual nourishment; for that is what the Gospel is... it is spiritual nourishment.  While in the temple I was able to find the answers I needed.  I read in Doctrine and Covenants.  Sections 4-14 and other sections mainly focus on missionary work.  As I read the words and felt the Spirit, many of my fears and anxieties were answered and put to rest.  I still have preparation ahead of me.  But I am so incredibly grateful that the temple is there. 

For those who are not worthy to go to the temple, or have never been, I say become worthy.  The Atonement is real and through the Atonement the blessings of the temple can be obtained.  It can be difficult to understand why the temple is so important and brings so many blessings because we never talk about the actual ordinances in great detail; because they are so sacred.  But I testify that the temple can bring peace, happiness, answers, and help us recenter our lives around Christ.  Even just walking the temple grounds or touring a visitors center can bring the spirit of the temple into our lives.   

My mormon.org profile

This post isn't about an experience.  Rather, I am linking this post to my profile on mormon.org.  Mormon.org is one of the websites the church has built to help educate the world about what we believe and who the Mormons are.  I made this profile a few months ago and I hope it can answer any questions or concerns. 
Also, thank you again so much for reading my blog.  Whoever you are, it brings me happiness to be able to write and know that someone, somewhere is reading it. 

Here is the link to my profile. 

it<a href="http://mormon.org/me/B11H/"> <img src="//edge.mormoncdn.org/bc/assets/img/profile/share/temple-i-believe-bw.jpg" alt="I'm a Mormon."> </a>. 

Simply Grateful

Wow.  What a crazy adventure life has been these last few days.   Here's a little update about life and then I'll share the blessings from the gospel that have come into my daily life right now.
   
Well to start off I apologize for not recently updating my blog. Finals week took over my life.  I talked about finals in my last post but I am happy to report that I don't have bursitis.  I probably did injure my knee but my mom and I are both convinced that my body was using my knee as a stress release point.  I'm not a Doctor so I'm just going off basic health hunches here.  But suffice to say that the pain is gone.  Overall, the finals themselves went really well.  I was able to finish all of my projects and tests, get my apartment clean and move out of it in about 48 hours.

The first way the Gospel blesses my life is through the guidance of the Holy Ghost and the principle of putting our trust in the Lord.  I had invited three of my roommates to come live with me.  The other two had signed up to be in our apartment because they had wanted their own rooms.  We had our frustrations; six girls in a basement apartment is a whole lotta estrogen.  But I grew to love these girls and I learned so much from them.  I know they will be successful in whatever they pursue and I will never forget the wonderful times we enjoyed together.   

After moving out of my apartment, my mom and I went to Bryce Canyon National Park.  What a marvelous experience it was to hike in this world of canyon and rock.  The Gospel blesses my daily life with the doctrine that we are God's children.  As I was with my beautiful mother, staring out into the open blue cloudless sky, taking pictures of red rock, caves, caverns, chipmunks and asking countless strangers to take a picture of my mom and I, I felt so grateful that Heavenly Father made this beautiful earth for us.  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a counselor to the Prophet of the church Thomas S. Monson, said a quote that went along the lines of "Compared to God we are nothing.  But to God we are everything."  I thought of this quote and this principle.  Though it is a paradox, it is true.  Compared to God we are nothing.  But our Heavenly Father loves us so much that to him, we are everything.  He created this earth for us to learn, grow and become who we are meant to be. 

Sunday I had the opportunity to teach Relief Society one last time in my student ward.  As I taught, asked questions and listened to these beautiful women, I felt grateful for Relief Society.  The Gospel blesses my daily life with Relief Society and the safe haven it can be for women.  I was Relief Society President in my student ward.  It was a big job but I learned a lot.  

After saying goodbye to my friends, bishop, the bishops counselors and my stake president my mom and I hopped in the car and drove home.  Sunday night consisted of dinner at my Grandparents house and was a wonderful opportunity for me to reconnect with my family.  But Monday morning was a wonderful treasured experience. 

I am getting my wisdom teeth out this Friday and was terrified of the procedure.  I also had some other things weighing on my mind.  I asked my father to give me a Priesthood blessing.  Now for those reading this who may have questions about the priesthood, please contact the missionaries, visit lds.org or mormon.org.  But what I do know is that the Priesthood is the power of God on Earth today.  My Father is a worthy holder of the Priesthood so he gave me what is called a Father's Blessing.  Because it was a personal blessing I won't write about all of the details but suffice to say that this blessing helped calm my fears and gave me peace for these next upcoming weeks.  The Gospel blesses my daily life with the Priesthood.  I am so grateful that my Father is a worthy Priesthood holder. 

So now life is me moving back into my parents house, reconnecting with friends at home and going country dancing tonight with some SUU swing club friends.  Life truly is what we make it.  I am so grateful for the Gospel and how I can use it to fill my life with wonderful events, things and people. 

Who's your best friend?

I woke up this morning and had a thought to go to the library to do my studying and writing for all of my finals.  After breakfast, scripture study, cleaning and organization, I showed up at noon ready to focus and bang out a ton of projects.  Instead I ended up laughing and talking with a friend I hadn't seen in forever; we talked till 5 this afternoon.  Study time ended up being a relax and enjoy life session.  But little did I know that this friend had just gotten out of a relationship.  In one word... he was MISERABLE!  Well for five hours we sat and talked about love, romanticizing, dating, marriage, friendship, relationships and life.  Friends joined our table throughout the day bringing other conversations and laughs to our table.

As I sat there, I realized that I'd had practically no social life for the last week because I was so busy doing projects for my finals.  All I had been doing was sitting in my apartment, doing projects on my computer, reading scriptures, eating, occasionally running, icing and compressing my knee and watching whatever TV show happened to be floating on the screen during my meals.  So sitting there, offering advice, wisdom, comfort and laughing with friends about stupid stuff was exactly what I needed.  My friend later told me that he had been looking for someone to talk to that morning. 

The way the gospel has blessed my life is helping me understand that the Lord can be one of our best friends.  A young man I admire once said, "I talk to God everyday.  He is my best friend."  The Lord truly can be our best friend.  He knows us better than we know ourselves.  When we live our lives in such a way that the Lord is involved, there truly is sunshine.  I'm grateful to have that knowledge and comfort.

A Day of Rest

In one sentence:  The Gospel blesses my daily life because I have the opportunity to use Sunday as a day of rest and spiritual rejuvenation. 

In the church, Sunday is the Sabbath.  On Sunday we go to church and partake of the Sacrament, go to Sunday School and learn more about the Gospel and I go to Relief Society; the women's class.  But Sunday isn't just about going to church.  Today I wrote up all of the funny quotes that were said in my apartment, reminiscing on good times.  I talked with my wonderful roommates who have taught me so much this year.  I listened to beautiful and uplifting music and felt the Spirit.  The best part about today was I didn't do any homework at all.  It felt so good to lay aside the things of the secular nature and purely focus on the spiritual.  I finished off the night talking with my parents and friends and laughing. 

To have the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate is such a blessing.  Observing the Sabbath helps me stay close to the Lord.  It helps me start the week with a clear mind, ready to take on the wonderful challenges this life offers.  It gives me time to write, pray, read, think, ponder, and socialize with friends in the ward and my apartment.  For instance, today I went outside and sunbathed in the warm weather while listening to church music.  This rest is not just physical it is also spiritual.

I testify that keeping the Sabbath day holy can open the windows of heaven. 

Scripture Power!

First off... to those who have read or regularly reading my blog... thank you so much.

So college is almost over for me.  Just a few more days left and then the best summer of life starts.  But to be honest, these last few days have been pretty challenging.  I might have bursitis (if that's how you spell it) in my knee from running too hard.  Bursitis means that small water pockets around my knee have burst.  This causes the bones in the knee to rub together.  I'm no doctor but I can say that it feels like someone digging their knuckle into the side of your knee.  I've been doing lots of ice and compression and the pain is mostly gone.  I'm just hoping that I haven't permanently injured myself. So, because of this I haven't been able to exercise for the last couple days.  When I don't work out I get antsy, anxious and it's harder for me to focus. 

Because I'm going on a mission I have to get my wisdom teeth out.  Originally I was going to go to a dentist, have them numb my mouth, give me some laughing gas and other stuff to make my brain a little loopy and then get my wisdom teeth out.  But now that plan has changed.  I'm going to an oral surgeon.  I'm terrified of this procedure because I don't want to go under anesthesia.  The thought of having a drug tell my brain to check out for a while absolutely terrifies me.  I'm not terrified of the healing or getting my teeth pulled.  I'm afraid of going under. 

All of my tests for school are projects.  That is great because it means I'm not studying for long hours.  It's bad because it means I'm working for long hours.  Right now all I want to do is go home and get on my mission.  I've been mentally checked out of school for a while.  But I know I have to complete these assignments.  And complete them I shall.  

This is a Mormon Ad.  They publish pictures like these in the church produced magazine The New Era.  This describes my morning routine perfectly. 

So with all of this going on, the number one thing that has helped a lot has been morning scripture study.  To take about 45 minutes to an hour and just immerse myself in the scriptures and the Ensign has been a huge blessing.  Right now I'm reading about when Christ came to the Americas in 3rd Nephi of the Book of Mormon.  I'm also reading about the prophet Samuel in the Bible.  I have an app on my phone so I'll pick an ensign from a random year and peruse the pages. 
Studying the scriptures has helped me so much because it gives me a small opportunity to just sit and feel the spirit and take a break from the massive work load ahead of me.  From these scriptures, I'm learning more about Christ's words and his gospel.  I'm also studying prayer in Preach my Gospel.  I'm learning more about how prayer can bless our lives, how and when we should pray and what it does for our relationship with Heavenly Father.
I read scriptures in the morning.  I wake myself up with a bowl of cereal.  I start scripture study by singing a hymn to invite the Spirit into the room.  Then I say a prayer and start reading.  Having all of this be the first things I read, speak and hear helps me start of the day on a strong foot. 

This is how the gospel is blessing my daily life right now.  The scriptures truly are the word of the Lord.  To have the extra spiritual power in my life is helping me keep going and face my fears and challenges the best that I can.  I encourage everyone to read the scriptures, get down on your knees and pray to know if they are true.  The Lord does answer our prayers and he will manifest the truth of them unto you by the power of the Holy Ghost.  I know they are true.
This gospel really is one of joy and happiness.  I am so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father that he has provided a way for us to feel close to him and our Savior through reading their words. 

Mission prep

Well today was my last day in mission prep at the institute for my university.  For those who aren't Mormon, the church builds institutes.  They are buildings where students can go study, play games, and attend different classes that teach specific doctrines, principles and lessons of the church.  The buildings are filled with beautiful paintings of Christ, Prophets and events from the scriptures.  The institute building at my university is also used as a church building.  There is a big tiled room used as a basketball court, dance hall and where students can gather for lunches, concerts, talent shows, blood drives and other major events.  Sometimes the institute will hold dances the same nights as the university.  This is really nice because campus dances don't always uphold the standards of the church.  Institute dances provide an opportunity for YSA's (young single adults) to have a dance and get to know more people while having good clean fun.  The most wonderful thing about institute is that anyone is welcome, the teachers are outstanding, and it is the only place besides the temple, church and my bedroom, where I can feel the spirit.

So, my institute offers a missionary preparation class.  Because I am going on a mission, I knew it would be vital for me to attend this class.  What a blessing it has been to be able to gather once a week, for an hour and a half and feel a renewed determination to serve a mission.  It is inspiring because our class had about 60 students with about 95% of us preparing to serve missions.  Each week we would recite Doctrine and Covenants Section 4.  Students would announce when they got their calls and where they would be serving.  Our teacher told us inspiring stories from his own mission.  I made wonderful new friends and grew closer to one of my very good friends.  She will serve her mission soon and it has been wonderful to be able to talk about serving a mission with her.  This class has given me an opportunity to be able to get away from the noise, clamor, confusion and pressures of the university life and just be able to focus on this very long term goal I've had since October.

In October 2012, President and Prophet of the church, Thomas S. Monson announced that girls could serve a mission at age 19.  I made the decision to go right then and there.  I had already saved up money for what I thought would be my study abroad trip this summer.  I'll still go on that study abroad; just after I get home from my mission.  As soon as I began to study the scriptures and Preach my Gospel daily, my problems and trials either went away, I found strength to bear them, or I found solutions to them.  It is still a long journey of preparation.  There are times when I feel discouraged, afraid, unworthy, impatient and confused.  Whenever I feel that way, I try to remember how it felt when I decided I was going to go.  The feelings of peace, happiness and joy that entered my heart at that time were indescribable.  As of right now, I have to get my wisdom teeth out and then my papers will go in.  I'll also post where I will be serving. 

This class has blessed my life throughout the semester.  My mission has blessed my life since I decided to go, and I know it will bless my the rest of my life after I return.  Again, these are little ways that the gospel has blessed my life.

Lastly, to anyone who is considering going on a mission, I say GO!!!!  GO AND SERVE THE LORD!!!  Don't look back.  A mission will bless your life.  It is worth sacrificing the time, money, employment, relationships and yes, even your family for a brief time to serve our Heavenly Father. These blessings will be returned to you in greater amounts than you can imagine. 

Employment promptings

Well today is the day I am quitting the job I have held all school year.  It's a call center job.  Basically, I work part time hours, make pretty good money but the work itself is very grueling and hard.  I've gotten used to being yelled at, sworn at, hearing horrible TMI stories about people's lives, and laughing with people as we have a fun conversation; all via phone.  But I've learned a lot at this job.  I've learned how to effectively talk on the phone with a complete stranger.  I've learned how to handle different work place situations.  I am definitely grateful to my wonderful bosses who took the time to help me keep this job while I've been attending school.  There have been good and bad times and I am very grateful for all of them. 

The reason I am writing about this is because I was able to get this job through the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  At the beginning of June, last summer, I knew I needed to get a job that paid well but also had flexible hours.  I had worked in sales before and wanted to work something similar to it.  My plan was to go every business in my hometown and fill out applications.  But instead, I felt prompted to get online and check out jobs on KSL.  I found this company, emailed an application and was called in for an interview three days later.  I got the job on the spot and have worked with this company for almost a year now.  

Another way I have been blessed was that the company allowed me to take my work to school.  It is very hard to get a job in the town where I attend school because it is a small town and there are a lot of students all vying for the same positions.  But, this whole year, I have been blessed with a job that provides valuable work training, enough pay to buy food and gas, a flexible schedule and patient bosses and trainers. 

I know that if we are doing and being what our Heavenly Father would have us do and be, and if it is his will, he will give us the blessings and the circumstances we need.  I needed a job and I got one that fit with my schedule.  I also prayed about when and how to quit this job so I could have sufficient time to study for finals and move out of my apartment.  I felt a reassurance that it is time to quit and pursue a different course of employment.  I am grateful for the power of prayer and the promise that the Lord will bless us when we are doing our best to follow him. 

Faith like a child

Well, sorry for the delay between posts.  This week has been busy like none other.  But this weekend is what I wish to write about.  I spent the weekend with my roommate and her family in their hometown.  Friday night we drove, got there, had a delicious home cooked dinner and after a little girl time we were off to bed.  After sleeping in on Saturday morning, we attended the Festival of Colors at the Krishna temple in Salt Lake City.  That was an amazing experience.  Sufficient to say, I looked like I got dunked in a rainbow by the time it was done.  Saturday night featured amazing Thai food, watching a chick flick and off to bed.  But Sunday was the day that I want to focus on.
  
Once again I slept in and I attended the young single adult ward with my roommate's sister whom I became close friends with very quickly.  Sacrament meeting was a farewell for a sister in the ward.  She gave a wonderful talk on how happiness is the light of Christ.  When we shine with the light of Christ, it can be seen in our eyes and our faces.  Her words were what I needed to hear right now in my life.  After sacrament I attended a temple preparation class.  If you are reading this and aren't LDS, I am preparing to get my endowments.  Endowments are sacred covenants made between a person and Heavenly Father in the temple.  It is a big spiritual step.  After a person receives their endowments, they wear the sacred garments and are held to higher standard.  That's all I know about the endowments right now.  Because they are such sacred covenants, we don't discuss the details of the temple.  Anyway, suffice to say, it was a wonderful class and I got to meet awesome new people.  

This is how I imagine Christ when he is holding a little child. 

But the real experience that struck me was the primary children.  My roommate's mom is the music leader.  My roommate's sister drove me to their homeward church and I got to sit in primary and help my roommate's mom.  She did an amazing job.  But what struck me most was the clear, pure and beautiful understanding and faith these children had in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  The primary leader asked for the children to go up to the microphone and share an experience helped them know that Heavenly Father loves them.  Their experiences ranged from praying for family members with medical problems and they felt comfort, to not stepping on the water balloon so they wouldn't get wet.  As I sat there listening to their beautiful clear voices and seeing their shining faces, my heart was touched.  I had to hold back the tears as I felt the Spirit and the love Heavenly Father had for these very precious sons and daughters.  

I thought about the challenges they will face growing up in this world.  I knew they would face extraordinarily trying times, but I felt their spiritual strength.  I felt a reassurance that if they were obedient and faithful throughout their lives, they would get through these trials and become the men and women God wants them to be.  Being in the room an
d watching their unwavering faith, it made me want to gain back that kind of faith and conviction.  The scriptures that talk about having faith like a child make a lot more sense to me.  I feel like the older we get, the more we are prone to doubt these simple beautiful truths.  I think that is why God asks us to have the faith like a child.  As adults, we are responsible to be an example to them, but today these children were shining beautiful examples to me. 

I'm grateful to be LDS because the truths taught in the church are so complex that no mortal mind can fully grasp them, yet simple enough that a child can bear a pure testimony of their truthfulness.  The gospel truly is a light in this world.  

Singles Conference: Mormon Style

Well this weekend was utterly fantastic.  The Cedar City Young Single Adult Multi Stake Activities Committee put on their annual YSA conference.  Friday night featured a conference from Voicemale.  With lots of humor and fun renditions of classic songs, the group sang our stresses away.  Personally I would've preferred the young, RM, single group of Vocal point but Voice Male was still awesome.  Saturday morning, I was up at 9 to get ready and go do service projects.  It was marvelous to be able to sleep in.  With five other girls, I did two hours worth of yardwork.  We cleared leaves, cut down dead bushes and branches, dug out weeds and made the whole property look new and fresh.  The owners of the house we were very sweet by providing us with water and trail mix.  After the service project we went back to the church for a Subway lunch.  I ended up in a circle of people throwing and catching a football.  After that we went home to get ready for the fireside. 

David M Mckonkie was the speaker.  After a gorgeous number by the institute choir, Brother Mckonkie gave a beautiful talk on the importance of daily reading the Book of Mormon.  He taught how the Book of Mormon can provide us and our families with spiritual protection.  He showed a mormon message of Jeffrey R. Holland bearing his testimony of the Book of Mormon.  He also showed another mormon message called Mountains to Climb.  In that video, Henry B. Eyering talks about how acting on a small seed of faith can bring us strength as we face the trials of this life.  There was a beautiful and powerful spirit in the room as we listened to these messages.  I had a profound experience.  While watching the Mountains to Climb video, I felt this wonderful feeling of warmth sweep through my body.  The spirit bore witness to me of the truth and power of the Book of Mormon.  Tears sprang to my eyes as I felt the spirit confirm this knowledge to my heart and mind.  I got to shake Brother Mckonkie's hand afterwards and I was very grateful and honored to be in the presence of such a fine man as he. 

After the fireside, some friends and I enjoyed a wonderful free dinner of Costa Vida.  Then the dance started.  Line dances, some country swing, a cha cha, slow dances, dubstep, belting Journey at the top of my lungs and bouncing around  were the activities I put my body through for three hours straight.  I haven't had any time to exercise this week so I had five days of energy stored in my body.  With shorts under my dress, I spun, jumped, dipped and celebrated the single life.  My roommate and I were total girls the whole time as we talked and lightly flirted with every guy we danced with.  After the dance I practically limped home because my feet were so sore.  I had brought home extra sandwiches from the lunch so our midnight dinner was another subway sandwich.  After some stretching and chatting we headed to the showers.  After that I ended up talking with a friend on skype for a couple hours catching up and laughing on life.  I finished the night with a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the wonderful opportunity this weekend had given me.  I was asleep when my head hit the pillow.  Now on this Sunday evening, I am nursing a Mormon "Dance Hangover" and every inch of me is still sore.

I am so grateful for the church.  The church provides safe, fun, productive and wonderful opportunities for the YSA's to make new friends, give service, strengthen relationships and grow closer to our Heavenly Father.  At this time of our lives, when it is so easy to be pulled in a thousand directions, activities like these remind me that I'm not alone.  The gospel blesses so many lives on infinite levels.  Looking around the stadium listening to Elder Mckonkie, it helped me realize that we are all fighting the battle against Satan.  We are all trying our best in whatever our pursuits.  This weekend was a huge blessing because it gave me an opportunity to relax, de-stress and get out of my head for a while. 

Pre-mish training experience

So today I had a great missionary opportunity.  For my education class we have to spend some time with the ESL (english as a second language) students.  Our group wasn't very big today so we went to a local coffee shop to hang out and get some drinks.  Because I am LDS I choose not to drink coffee.  I love the smell, coffee cake and the occasional quart of haagen daas coffee ice cream... I just don't drink it. 

One of the girls in the group asked me why Mormons don't drink coffee.  I told her because it is part of the standards of the church to abstain from it.  Then, she told me how she had asked that question before to other members and they had merely said, "We don't drink it because we just don't."  She wanted an actual explanation of why we don't drink it.  I tried my best to explain that it is important to be able to feel the spirit and keep the joy of the gospel in our lives.  But, that spirit and joy can be overpowered if we are addicted to any substance.  I told her how coffee is highly caffinated so it could become an addiction for some people; as in they can't function without it.   The same can be said of alcohol, tobacco, pornography; basically any potentially addictive substance.  So, abstaining from coffee is one way to keep the guidance and influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives.  She had a satisfied look on her face after I said that.  She replied with a simple, "ok that makes sense."  Then she walked into the classroom for our next class. 

This experience blessed my life today because it gave me an opportunity to practice and prepare to be a missionary.  I don't know if this girl will ever convert to the church, or if our discussion made a difference in her life at all.  What I do know, is that for me, it was another opportunity for me to use the training I'm receiving in my mission prep class and get that much closer to achieving my goal of going on a mission. 

Idea into Action

Well, its happened.  I'm expanding my online activity and am now starting a blog.  In case you're wondering who this random girl is, I'll tell you a little bit about myself.  I am a tall, blue-green eyed, curly-haired brunette student studying to be a high school theater teacher.  Some of my favorite things are european dark chocolate, romantic classical music, the color pink and living a simple, but happy life.  I'm an assistant manager in a company and I work as a sales representative for other companies as well.  My hobbies are swing and latin dancing, barefoot running (as in running barefoot on grass in parks... yes its awesome and no it doesn't hurt), doing Zumba, performing in plays and musicals, and hanging out with my wonderful friends and family.

So with that intro, you're probably wondering what this blog is about and why I'm writing it.  Well to start off, I'm a member of the Church of the Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; AKA a Mormon.  Born and raised in the church, I grew up in Utah sur
rounded by beautiful temples, a loving ward and principles and standards that have blessed my life immensley.  I'm preparing to serve a mission and I am very excited to serve!
 
Every April and October, the church holds a General Conference.  In these conferences, the prophet/president of the church and other leaders of the church give talks.  For me, the saturday and sunday of conference are wonderful days filled with beautiful music, good food, family sports games at the park and a spirit of peace and love.  Well during this past conference, a talk was given about sharing the gospel online.  This gave me the idea to start a blog about how the gospel of Jesus Christ blesses my daily life.  So this blog is me putting that idea into action. 

So experience number one:  Yesterday my faith was strengthened a lot.  Yesterday night I went to bed with three more pages of a sociology essay, and a multicultural education poster that were due monday morning.  Since Sunday is the sabbath, I choose not to do homework on Sundays.  So because of severe procrastination, my only option was to start at midnight sunday night/monday morning and work as fast as I could to try and get it all done; plus squeezeing in a couple hours of sleep.  At 2 am I was finished.... or so I thought.  In the process of transferring my files from my computer to my flash drive, I accidentally deleted all of the work I had completed on the essay.  The essay itself wasn't deleted; just all of the revision and additional information.  I was in for another hour and a half.  Gritting my teeth I finished the essay for the second time at 3 am.  This wouldn't have been a big deal if I hadn't had to wake up at 5 am for an 8 am class that morning. 

Two hours of sleep later, I was up reading scriptures and getting ready for the day.  I ran to walmart,bought poster supplies and spent another hour making the poster and doing a last revision  of the essay.  At 8:30 am, the tasks were completed. 

However, before starting the long night of work, I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me to have the energy and stamina to stay up through the night and be productive during the school day.  The miracle happened when I woke up at 5 am monday morning.  Usually when I wake up that early I get nauseous and it's hard for me to concentrate throughout the day.  But that whole day I had energy, an alert mind, and I was able to complete all the tasks I had that day.  I had energy that I knew didn't come from my body or my mind.  The Lord was giving me energy and strength to help me get everything done.  Now I'm a firm believer that our attitude can impact our energy.  I always try to stay positive and I have an energetic personality so those factors probably played a part.  But throughout the day I was so grateful to my Heavenly Father that he was helping me. 

My point with this post is that the Lord does hear our prayers.  At times, if it his will, when we pray for the things we want he will give it to us.  I've also learned that if we don't get what we want, either it's because the Lord has something better in store, or there is a lesson for us to learn while we go without that specific desire.  It couldn've been that he didn't give me the energy I needed and I would have gone through a trial learning the effects of procrastination instead.  I don't have all the answers.  But I do know that the Lord hears and answers our prayers. 

I will try and update this blog regularly.  Comments, suggestions, insights, inspirations, etc... are welcomed.