Prayer of relief

Yesterday I had a wonderful experience that taught me more about the power or prayer.  Lately I've been feeling really down.  I am waiting for my passport to come so I can turn in my mission papers.  While it will be helpful to have my passport before my mission, the waiting period becomes increasingly difficult day by day.  I'm not working because I quit my jobs so I have tons of time on my hands.  I'm not pursuing any more employment until I get my call.  Once I know how long I will be around before I go on my mission then I can get a job.  But because I don't know how long it will take, there's no reason to try and get a job only to quit a month later.  I'm filling my time writing in my journal, exercising, doing Krav Maga, dancing, going to institute, church and trying to spend time with my family.  But I am so used to a strict cookie cutter schedule of tasks that having extra time on my hands starts to make me feel useless and unproductive.  Because I'm going on a mission I'm not dating or socializing as much which bums me out sometimes because I am a major flirt and love socializing and meeting new people... especially tons of new guys.  Also the thought of meeting more people only to leave them for a year and a half makes socializing with new people and with my friends seem almost pointless.  Now don't get me wrong, I still hang out with my friends and family but it is hard to think that I'm going to leave them.  But the worst part is the feeling that Satan is really working on me to get me to not go.  Doubts, temptations, and fears I've never really dealt with creep in and it is hard work to keep the goal in sight.  Another big problem I was noticing though was that I was doing good things but not really doing what the Lord would have me be doing.  There was a talk given in General Conference that focused on the theme of good, better and best.  There are good things we can do, better things, and then the best things.  Right now I feel like I'm doing the good and the better but not the best.  By not doing the best, I'm missing out on preparation and blessings.  I need some lifestyle changes including eating healthier, drinking more water, and getting to bed before midnight. 

So with all the waiting and worrying and doubts... needless to say it was starting to build up and get overwhelming.  Well I talked to my dad about it telling him everything.  He told me to get on my knees and give these burdens, fears, doubts, and worries over to the Lord.  I like to have complete control over my life so when I don't have control over everything I start getting fussy and picky.  It is hard for me to hand my entire life over to the Lord sometimes.  There have been other times like this where I have had to get on my knees and just give it all to the Lord in order to keep progressing.  Well last night i did my regular scripture and Preach my Gospel Study.  I then began to pray.  One thing that helped tremendously was that for the first half of my prayer, I just thanked the Lord for as many blessings as I could think of.  When we turn our hearts over to gratitude, our burdens truly do seem to lift.  After that I poured out all the worries, doubts, fears, troubles, problems, stumbling blocks, trials and anxieties of my heart.  I gave it all to God. 

I know the Lord can never lead us in the wrong path.  He may bring us to trials but if he brings us to it he will bring us through it, if we rely on him.  His infinite love is manifest in Christ's atonement.  Well after my prayer I began writing the promptings and thoughts that came to my mind.  I started reading some New Era (the magazine the church prints out for the teenagers) and some more scriptures.  It truly was a spiritual feast.  I found the answers I needed.  I felt comfort.  I realized that part of the problem had been that I wasn't really pouring out my heart during my prayers.  Also, I regularly attend the temple as much as I can.  The temple near my house had been closed and I hadn't taken the time to go to another temple.  But I was so incredibly grateful for the answers and comfort I felt. 

I still have changes and corrections to make in my life.  But they will be made.  I testify that the Lord does hear our prayers and he does answer them.  In order to receive answers we need to earnestly ask for them, having faith that we will receive an answer, and then do our best to be obedient to all of the commandments.